if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
