Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
