i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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