Are we in a gay sports bar?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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