mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
