Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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