i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
