My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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