im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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