Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
