Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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