my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
