Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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