Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
where does the pee come out of this thing
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
