Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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