I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
