the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
