I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
accomplished twins. life is a go
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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