stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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