She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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