I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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