just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
foreskin is a definite game changer
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize