return my video game
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
