I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
