Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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