yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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