that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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