Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
