I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
