He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
