How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
