It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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