Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
