nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
