you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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