She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
