Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
