There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
