Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
