I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
