just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
worst night to have a conscience
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I need moral support for this bender
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
