dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
