dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
