ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
whose parrot is this?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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