Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
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