I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
