True but thats because hes a fetus.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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