You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
