Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You can't special order awesome
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
