It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
