i can't believe i had my finger in that
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
