i love accidental penises.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
