My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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