Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
