i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I understand Curling. That high.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
