my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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