I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
