I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize