just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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