Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
