oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
