hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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