You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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