They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
