it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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